hanaban's Diaryland Diary

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it is difficult to fight a war without sleep

So my attempt at going to sleep at six in the morning, waking up a little after to eight to get ready for work at ten, then go to classes without breaks until four fifteen, and finally go back to work again until seven did not work at all. I woke up at eight, yes, but I soon after fell asleep sitting up. I kept trying to fight it, just as the Sarrasins were trying to fight the Chr�tiens from conquering their land, then I just found myself nodding on and off still sitting. I called off the first part of work and I didn't go to my classes. I got my work pretty much done though so I'm just going to send it to my professors by e-mail. Everything is fine and I have finally gotten some sleep.

2:57 pm - February 01, 2005

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it is perfectly normal to operate on caffeine and no sleep

I've been up writing about flying and now I shall begin writing about chivalry. Or something.

4:01 am - February 01, 2005

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i need to do laundry

I've been taking care of business lately. I hope that I don't jinx it by having just said that, but hey, I'm pretty proud of myself. New semester, new goals, and no more letting myself get off easy. I've been getting all of my work done and barely even slacking off (I know, can you believe it?). It's nice to not have to worry about things at the last minute. It's weird, however, to have class in several hours and actually be relaxed because I have nothing to do the hour before! I've already completed the assignment -- and I did it last night!

With all this schoolwork I've been doing lately, however, I haven't really kept up my communication with the people I don't see on an almost everyday basis, and I just wanted to say that I think of you and I miss talking to you, especially - h -. I have to write so many e-mails that say more than "I'm sorry but I have to go" when I get a chance.

12:44 am - January 31, 2005

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silly asian...

Uh-oh. I've been getting back into knitting again and caffeine still keeps me up until three or four in the morning, wide awake and ready to roll. (I'll pay for this in the morning.)

I am still giggling at the fact that there was a guy in my place of employment the other day and he had a Louis Vuitton wallet. I should try to get some more reading done now and sleep.

3:35 am - January 29, 2005

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cue the yann tiersen nostalgia music, please

Right now, I am listening to "When I See You Smile" by Bad English. I think this was, or at least one of, the last song(s) they played at Prom when I went with Joe. That was a fun night, full of sushi and wasabi and Joe, who made me swoon and smile throughout the night.

12:21 am - January 26, 2005

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would you love a werewolf?

I'm pretty tired right now, but looking forward to tomorrow because I only have work and then one class. Big sigh. It always seems that the weeks will pass by slowly, but before I know it, tomorrow's Wednesday, and then there's Thursday soon after that, followed by a Friday without classes.

There are endless things to do for school, but I've been getting them done one after another, and I'm not really behind in any of my classes. I am on track, in the loop, all that good stuff. One of these days, I'll be so on track that I can have some time to knit baby stuff for Holly's sister's baby.

We just finished reading "Bisclavaret" in my French literature class, a 12th century tale about a woman whose husband disappeared three days each week without giving her any reasons; he tells her that he becomes a werewolf during that time, and can only revert to a human being when he puts his clothes back on; she manipulates him into telling her where his clothes are hidden during this time and betrays him by taking his clothes, thus leaving him a werewolf for a very long time. In the end, her punishment for all of this is getting her nose bitten off my her husband/werewolf, lots and lots of torture, and her offspring are born without noses. Nancy asked if each of us thought the punishment was fair, and I said it was, because things like that were common in those societies, and the woman would be an example to everyone else. It wasn't fair what she did to her husband. Anyhow, everybody else seemed to look much farther into things than I did: they talked about how the society was very masculin, that women were not treated equally, and such feminist points of views. I didn't even think of that. I thought of everything parallel to one another, each person the same as the other. Are both of us at fault, them for always searching for the bad in everything, and me for being so naive? It's interesting to hear more than one point of view that can actually be backed up by the text and history, one that's respectable and not just so because it is so.

I've done such a good job at not eating at the establishments on the campus these past two weeks. I love that Campbell's to go soup stuff -- it's so good when it doesn't explode and burn me.

10:07 pm - January 25, 2005

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boycott the cheese!

I have found this website very resourceful in helping me with my French Business class this semester. I liked reading on the list of items and services one should boycott that there was "Roquefort cheese (all Roquefort cheese is made in France)". Ha. Don't support them by consuming their cheese! No! Sorry, I'm just taking a short break from my homework and I didn't have anything better to do.

3:45 pm - January 23, 2005

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impulsive shopping

Girls often, when they shop by impulse, by shoes or clothes or things they really don't need. I, however, buy bookbags and desk chairs when I go in to the office supply store to get a new ink cartridge. I love the office supply store. My chair has lumbar support! I'm still trying to get used to it, but it's not bad... and if I want to lean back, I can without the chair moving or tipping over! Ah, the greatness of these things to which I rarely have the chance of experiencing! The only thing is, though, the chair was supposed to be really cheap with a mail-in rebate, but we never received a form or any other hint that a check would arrive for a certain amount of dollars in 6-8 weeks. I have to go check that out tomorrow. Rats. My bookbag has Swiss signs all over it and compartments on the inside! Oh, the people who come up with things that amuse me so! As I was completing my sale at the counter, this character popped up, started poking around at my bookbag, and inquired about the price, because he paid $50 for it just several months ago! The lady who was helping me quickly, and loudly, and with much oomph said: "Too bad!" (with the exclamation, it sounded). It was weird. I thought he worked there or something. Anyhow, I have a new bookbag that will hopefully keep the moisture from damaging the pages to my books, with many other contraptions to distract me during my school days should I be bored. Whoa, I just thought about how I went a whole week at school without having to eat at Subway OR Pizza Hut! (Yeeeeeaaaah!)

4:05 am - January 23, 2005

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one of the worst feelings ever...

...is disappointment.

3:05 am - January 23, 2005

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always on my mind

I just wrote you a silly love letter that you'll probably never see and it still doesn't say everything I that I want it to say, but it will have to suffice until I can gather better words. You are more than anything to me and I hope I don't scare you with my silly antics. I hope you love me for that anyway.

10:49 pm - January 17, 2005

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rats!

I just got a smaller, more compact wallet to help me minimize and make my wallet not weigh 20 pounds. The problem I am currently facing is that the thing is too small. I can barely fit my bills into the compartment in which bills belong, and all of my cards can barely fit into the zippered compartment. I just thought this would be the perfect wallet, but I didn't expect it to push me to only use the barest of necessities.

Right now, I am watching Fox's version of Wife Swap, which is a little annoying because the one lady is so snobby about every little thing! I bet she ate dirt when she was a kid and the horror of it haunts her every night in her sleep. That and she can't even ride a carousel without getting sick! I understand some people with conditions, but she's just a big snob or something ... and she demanded they stop the carousel otherwise she would get sick! Ha! What the heck, lady?! You're not Paris Hilton or anything -- no one is going to stop a carousel for you! My heart goes out to all the nice moms who have to put up with the strange and uptight families who live like robots and don't appreciate hugs! Hugs are great! Sorry for the exclamations!

8:41 pm - January 17, 2005

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hooray for football!

Today, we are having a party to watch the Colts/Patriots game. I've been catching up on learning about this whole American football thing and I think I'm doing okay so far. Anyway, that's not quite as important as what there will be to eat. I don't think Joe's up yet so I don't want to wake him just to ask what we should eat. I'm having a go at making chocolate cr�me brul�e from a mix Joe gave me yesterday, and then I had an idea for brats, but I'm not sure if that'll be enough -- these games can last a really long time, you know! That's all, hope you've had a great weekend. Hurray for no school tomorrow! Thanks Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!

1:37 pm - January 16, 2005

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how can a cow be my grandfather?

My, has it been a busy week! It was all worthwhile, and I'm still here. The semester started out pretty well for me. The classes seem pretty interesting and my professors incredibly fascinating (I like my International Film professor because he uses the expression "Holy cow!" quite often). I even find Statistics rather interesting, although my professor is currently out of the country and I haven't met her. I've heard she's from India and other people have helped me conclude that she is probably over there because of the tsunami situation, so I was only a little peeved to receive homework the first day because I had a lot of other reading to do, but it turned out to be really easy and I hope she and her loved ones are okay. So, things are fine for me. However, poor Joe has a devil professor this time around, and twice! I'll have to do my best to help him keep his spirits and desire keep on keepin' on, because I know those kinds of professors seem to drain any passion or desire for the things you love to do in order to grow even stronger in being a devil professor ... oh, the horror!

This past week, I've continuously either worked or gone to school. Some days, I worked, went to school, then came back to work some more. It's not the bad kind of work that you hate, though, because you get rewarded with tons of food, homemade brownies, as much pop as you'd like to drink, and of course, very generous sums of money from the boss because she's never been shady about sharing her wealth. Thanks to her, I might not still be wearing clothes from four years ago next week or so. I don't know what to do with my money, because I know that I shouldn't spend it all, and I don't plan to, but then I feel bad when I want clothes and then don't want to spend money on clothes because they should be saved for other things. I've always had such a dilemma when it comes to spending so much money on myself.

In order to keep my Holly in town next year, and for many other reasons, she and I, along with Joe and Paul, of course, are aiming to get better jobs (or hours) so that we can hopefully get an establishment in which to live by the end of summer or so. I am doing my research to figure out the important things such as rental cost, living costs, and other similar expenses in order to help us not be completely broke and eating off of the carpet if we do find a place to live. I'm really excited, and I hope that with careful planning and better paychecks we can have all of this work out.

12:25 pm - January 15, 2005

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the stomach does not like the dairy

I really like movie soundtracks. There's always a song with a part that just gets me and then I'm stuck in this wonderful moment I never want to escape. Right now, I'm listening to "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice and the part to which I refer is how he sings "I can't take my eyes off of you." It's just that good. Movie soundtracks have lately been exceptional.

Schools starts on Monday and I had to pay "the man" too much money for brand new textbooks, even though I only needed two from the school store. The others, I was lucky enough to find at our store and saved so much money. I should be optimistic and recognize that it was only two books that I needed to purchase brand new rather than five or ten, and believe me, I am thankful.

I got a lot of things done this morning. I took Holly to Mom's work to get her nails done for her Semi-formal dance, dropped her off at her house, then proceeded to run all of my errands. This morning/early afternoon, I:

• Purchased my textbooks
• Bought tickets for Joe and myself to go see Elton John (!) in March
• Finally made it to Michael's to use up my gift card on knitting things and paper crafts (but I forgot to go back and get those)
• Bought a pot and saucer for my Miniature Florida Palm tree from Joe
• Potted the tree and now want more and more plants

4:00 am - January 09, 2005

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yaaaay!

I decided to go on hiatus because Joe was gone and I was too sad. Just kidding, but not really -- believe what you want. I got pretty sick after he left, so I've been pretty groggy and out of it... and coughing up mine and probably my dad's share of lungs (whatever he has left). I had a really runny nose, too. I bet it's been fun for the people who have seen me this way. I was pretty spent from that whole being sick thing and having to work many hours everyday, so my boss was really nice and let me get the day of yesterday... and I got to see Joe again!

He finally came back from Florida, and I'm glad it made it back with his parents safely, because the roads were really bad and they had to come all the way from Indianapolis ... which is only about 2 hours' drive, but forever with the ice. I'm so glad he's back. I didn't want to write and post here partially because I knew it'd all be really pathetic stuff like: you don't know how much you can miss someone when you get to see them everyday until they're away for just one day and you miss them like crazy. It's so, so nice to have you back, Joe.

I would like to get out of order and talk about New Year's Eve at Paul's house and how I learned to play Texas Holdem Poker, lost, then beat Paul's dad! It was only going to be Holly, Paul, and I so we decided that we should go to Paul's house since his mom and his sister were going to cook a lot of food... and so we showed up there a little after 5... heh (you can never be too early), played Euchre and ate crackers with yummy dip. The crackers were yummy, too. Anyway, with Paul as my partner, we lost 10-0, and then Holly's Andy showed up and we won! (I'm still holding a tiny little grude on Paul because he didn't appreciate the hat I knit for him... that took about two weeks or so.) Anyway, after that, we ate some more (I ate a lot more) and proceeded to learn to play Poker. Paul's mom helped me out a lot, and then I ended up winning all of her money, and Paul's dad, who was really good at bluffing, I caught on to him and took all of his money, too! I can't believe I did that. It was only chips -- I meant to say "chips". Anyhow, I'm really excited just because Joe is back and everything can go back to normal again now. Man, taking the time to write this has now caused me to wager whether or not I should shower before or after Gilmore Girls. Oh! I almost forgot! Joe got me a miniature Florida Palm tree! It's so cool and cute and I need to hurry up so I can go get some soil and a pot with holes on the bottom for it not to die! I hope I've entertained by making you laugh at me throughout this whole entry. Peace.

10:34 am - January 07, 2005

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because it is almost dawn and i still cannot fall asleep

One of these days, I'll be able to conquer my brain.

2:37 am - January 06, 2005

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