hanaban's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- because i really am an idiot I've not been able to shake this off, not for a while now. I think that what you mistake to be bi-polar symptoms is simply me trying to be happy but failing miserably and then reverting to my sad, pathetic self once again. I'm dwelling and not trying hard enough. I'm thinking, way too much. I really wish that I could be like you, without worries, without cares -- someone who actually gets to enjoy life. I haven't had pure fun in a while and it's me who's been keeping myself from it. I can't blame it on this or that, because there are people who go through the same thing and they're fine. So. Here goes. I'm putting down in words that I will make good effort to change for the better, so that I'm not such a burden to be around, so that you don't even notice I've been gone. I can say 'sorry' if I truly am and it's for a good reason, right? I'm sorry, dear friends, for being such a pain in the butt recently. I will revert to the former and not so uncool self, or at least try really hard at it. I love you too much to put you through any more of this nonsense. 9:31 am - June 03, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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